by Mark Stellinga
© 2005 Mark Stellinga, all rights reserved.
sat and scanned the massive world that I alone would reign.
To me, a kingdom, large and long, yes...this is my domain!
Where I was King and Lord of all the land that I would rule,
And he who dared defy my here shall play the sorry fool!
For many years I’d wandered as I pleased, with no concern,
But on this cold November morn I stared in shock to learn
Fate had come to violate my world...not only that...
Satan stood before me...in the body of...a CAT!
I thought about how I had always roamed with so much ease,
Gathering up the little bits of cookie, bread, and cheese.
I knew the new intruder, just within those hairy paws,
Concealed the weapons of his trade; his armor-piercing claws!
I felt the days were over when the land I now surveyed
Would know the carefree journeys for so long I'd safely made.
I wondered if the fiend were here to visit, or to stay,
And vowed to find a way to drive this wretched beast away!
I watched him gliding ‘round the room, his nose against the floor.
Retreating even deeper as he paused before my door!
This was it, he’d found me, and my heart began to pound!
First I saw the thrashing paw, then heard the fearsome sound!
He screeched a growling rumble as he flailed to find his prey,
A slightly longer reach and I would not be here today!
At last the barbarous devil would relent and leave my room.
‘Twas then that I conceived the plan that promised me his doom!
I waited for my chance each night, and as the killer slept,
Deep into, what now seemed jungle...quietly, I crept.
Making off with little bits of poisonous this and thats,
I built a morsel made of things well known for killing cats!
I conjured up a pastry laced with Drano, and with lye,
And knew...if I could only make him eat it...he would die!
The morning finally came and right away I took control.
I squeaked and squealed incessantly to lure him to my hole.
At last the unsuspecting dupe had come to take his meal.
I freely gave the wanton beast what he had meant to steal.
I shoved the little bouillon-scented ball within his reach.
His claws would rake it through the door...again I heard him screech.
Then watched in disbelief as he appeared to bounce with JOY?
The brainless fool was now convinced he’d found himself...a TOY!!
He slapped it all around the room, then, hunching up his back,
He’d act as if invisible, then suddenly, attack!
I felt he looked ridiculous, yet something, deep inside,
Found me almost happy that the pin-head hadn’t died!
And when he’d tired of acting like the bone-head that he is,
He curled up in his "blankie" in the room that now was his.
Well, to this day, the cat and I have never actually met.
We take our turns at wandering through the “kingdom” now, and yet,
I half-way feel that this is how it really ought to be.
I leave the dingbat to himself...he does the same for me!